I haven’t been on in quite some time and I would like to say this is for good reason and it is in some ways. Life has been a bit of a chaotic mess lately which leads me to sinking into my own mind and refraining from delving into the social realm. On one hand, I have officially gotten a new job within my career field which will help me reach my end goal. I am also one test away from officially getting my bachelors degree so I can begin my masters program. On the other hand, my mental state has been terrible and I have been having a difficult time getting my mind back to an optimistic state.
I know that writing has always been a wonderful outlet for me but I have taken it for granted and decided I would not do it. I know that this is the only way I can truly cope, especially since I am not an emotional person and will never feel comfortable expressing my problems with other individuals no matter how close I may be to them. I have been doing a bit better but I am still emotionally struggling. This downward spiral is something that reminds me that others may feel this way as well which is why I wanted to reach out to you all and remind you that we are all struggling in our own way. Loneliness isn’t an option with over 7 million people in the world. Your trauma, depression, anxiety or sadness will come to an end eventually and if you need an open ear, I am here for you. I wish I took advantage of when people told me this.
Recently I have been confronted with some news that will ultimately alter my entire life. Unsure of what way to go with it is beginning to wear down my psyche. How are you supposed to know when a decision is right or wrong? With both options having their own benefits and consequences, I can only question which way I should go.
This post is vague, of course. The news isn’t something I am quite ready to share at this point though. I am stuck in a situation that is ultimately going to cause stress, heartache and instability no matter the direction I go…
These conflicting thoughts are ultimately killing me inside and my heart is breaking knowing that there is no way of knowing if I am making the correct choice. I am terrified that my psyche is about to shatter completely. Sometimes things that are unplanned have a way of altering your life entirely…
I am the first one to try and see all sides to every conflict and story. I manage to even rethink the things that I have done, said or even felt. Recently though I have come to recognize that while thinking about how everybody else feels, I have forgotten about my own feelings and reasons for being hurt or upset.
I am starting to question if this is healthy or not. I have let my emotions sit on the back burner and I think a fire is about to arise. How can I fix this situation? Not one party is truly happy and because of that I feel like ignoring my own problems has not made any impact of helping ease the situation.
I spend most of my time attempting to avoid all of the conflicts and issues yet I am the easy person to speak to for advice. I do not want to be a part of the problem, I want to spend everyday happy and inspired. How can I do that when madness is occurring all around me though?
If I speak out then my blunt honesty will kill connections and relationships. Many cant accept the truth. So I am now forced to bite my tongue and hope for everything to be better. I am unsure how much longer my mental state can handle the amount of suppression. I need a way out.
I had a fleeting thought that failed to disappear as quickly as it came to mind. I appreciate poetry, writing, and lyrics so much that it has captivated my life. I find myself asking why my appreciation for these things seems so much larger than those of others. This blog site has made me come to realize the answer to all of this.
Writing is an expression of the self. Our thoughts we are too afraid to speak of out loud. If it wasn’t for this outlet where would many of us be? We use writing of any kind in order to relieve our minds from overthinking, to express the feelings we cant find the words for when speaking, to relieve ourselves of feelings we are ashamed of and to lend a helping hand and sense of understanding to anybody who feels the same way.
Writing can be used for so much more than this but I feel that these things are the most relevant to myself and many others that I see and speak to. Why has our world come to this though? Why are so many individuals afraid to speak about their feelings with somebody face to face? I have struggled to answer these questions myself.
We come here to express information, documentation, or just our own personal views. One thing each and every one of use has in common is using writing as our outlet. So now the question lies, how many of you feel like writing is the only time you can be real, raw, and genuine? How many of you feel forced to use this outlet though you desire to speak with somebody about it?
Though this does not apply to all of you… I still want to offer my appreciation and respect for the bravery for what is written. I want to offer an open ear for anybody who feels trapped or stuck. I have felt this way myself and due to this I feel it is necessary to remind you that the world isn’t always as black and white as it may seem. Sometimes we just need to search for the gray areas.
I have grown to love the human mind. Understanding the trials and tributes that individuals face is a challenge within itself. Recently I have recognized something missing within our society, or possibly just the flock I surround myself with.
We are all struggling in some way or another. From mental disorders to trauma of any kind, we all have our own demons. Many individuals are one with their struggles and refuse to let others see their weakness. So much can be hidden with a smile. Each one of us reaches out at some point though. What many of us receive when we reach out though is nothing….
No open ear
It has been bothering me for quite some time, the lack of empathy many have. So many are self absorbed within themselves that they forget that others have their own trials and errors within life. How can we fix this problem though? How can you make somebody take a step back and listen?
There is no answer to this. There is no way to fix this issue in any way. It is important to call it like we see it though. If we can reach out with this issue and make others realize their lack of empathy for others, maybe we can begin to see an amazing change within the world. Of course, this is far fetch but it is worth the effort.
We need to all recognize that each person that walks this world is dealing with their own sorrow, pain, trials, problems and other issues. Take one moment out of your day to lend your ear to a friend, family member, or even a stranger. It may seem like nothing was solved or nothing came of it but it can ultimately mean the world to somebody.
Nobody is alone in this world and I want to remind each and every one of you that I am something so unbelievably small can move mountains. Change a life today.